Leave and Cleave
Categories: Church of Christ Bulletin ArticlesIn Genesis 2:24 Moses states a conclusion brought about by an account of the creation of woman. Woman was created to be a partner to man so Moses concludes, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” In stating this Moses shows to the children of Israel that the marriage institution wasn’t created by man but that it was created and legislated by God, hence the seriousness and permanency of it.
Seeing this we next ask what Moses meant by the words “leave” and “cleave” seeing the responsibility we are given in the text with it being restated by our Lord in Matthew 19:5.
In context the act of leaving father and mother is one of a change of emphasis from one family unit to one created by the forming of a new family unit. A man before marriage is under the authority of father and mother and is most concerned with the success of that family unit. At the point of marriage he leaves father and mother. This may or may not be a leaving in the sense of distance. This is, however, a leaving in the sense of emphasis, responsibility and authority. After the wedding the first priority is the care of the new family unit. He must see to its feeding, housing, clothing, teaching, and safety. He must direct these activities. He is no longer under the direction of father and mother.
Many will point to the patriarchal family unit to show that parental authority extended from father to son after the son’s marriage. This is likely to be argued from Ephesians 6:1-3 where children are commanded to obey their parents. Then the question is asked as to when a child is not a child. It must be remembered however that patriarchs were more than just fathers to their children. They were priests, as in the case of Job (1:5). They were chieftains as it was with Jacob (Genesis 42:1-3). They had authority beyond that of the parent.
Moses, when he calls on men to leave father and mother, removes from the man’s parents the responsibility for rearing his children and for deciding on direction in the household. For this to be true parental authority does not pass beyond the line of forming a new union. Therefore Ephesians 6:1-3 is applicable only until marriage.
Moses also calls upon men to cleave to their wives. The English word cleave has two meanings. One might “cleave” a piece of meat with a cleaver (Leviticus 1:17) meaning to split it into two. But more often the idea is to bond to a person or thing as Moses reminds in Deuteronomy 4:4, “But ye that did cleave unto the Lord your God are alive every one of you this day.” Obviously this is the meaning of Moses regarding men and their wives.
The foremost idea in cleaving to one’s wife is that of intimacy. Moses said, “…and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) and “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25). Further, Jesus found in this statement of Moses a state of permanency when He said, “…what therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6). God intends that man cleaving to his wife be a permanent state, that is, one that lasts until the death one of the parties (Romans 7:1-2). Also inherent in this idea of cleaving to one’s wife is that of faithfulness. From the beginning it was never intended that man have partners outside the marriage bond. Jesus made fornication the exception to the marriage bond. One partner can put another away for fornication (Matthew 19:9).
God’s plan for the formation of a family unit involves two things. Moses explains to the children of Israel that it involves leaving father and mother and cleaving to one’s wife. With all the things that this means this is how a family is begun right under God’s instruction. Those that wish to call a family something other than what God describes here should repent and uphold the institution that came from the mind of God.