The Art Of Effective Listening
Categories: Church of Christ Bulletin Articles
Listening seems like it would be a simple process, wouldn‘t it? And yet, so many of us are more eager to talk than to listen. This is especially true of public school elementary students. The question I ask them before a lesson is presented is, “Why were we given two ears but only one mouth?” The majority cannot answer correctly. But, there is seemingly always one or more students who do know the answer – and their response in the form of a question is, “Because we should listen twice as much as we speak?”
Answer: Indeed so (James 1:19; cf. Ecclesiastes 5:1).
Over a period of years as both a Bible class teacher and a public school substitute librarian, I’ve learned the following relative to the art of effective listening (these listening tips apply to both teacher and student alike):
1) Stay present and focused (Hebrews 12:1-2 NASB) – Don’t let our mind wander because of worldly thoughts and distractions (Romans 12:2). Many students are already composing a response before the teacher has a chance to completely finish his or her thoughts (Proverbs 29:20). Too rapid a response, is a detriment to effective listening. Let the teaching first “sink in” to our thought processes before we respond.
2) Making eye contact (Luke 6:20)– Let students see our interest in them by regularly making eye contact. The same holds true for students’ interaction with their teacher. Are we effectively getting the teaching across?
3) Ask questions for clarification (Matthew 16:13,15) – Allow plenty of time for the student to listen and adequately respond. Teachers need to make it very clear as to what is being stated. As listeners, if we do not understand what a teacher is saying, questions need to be immediately asked, with the teacher responding in a non-critical manner (Acts 8:30), with the understanding that there is no such thing as a “dumb” question when it is asked sincerely.
4) Acknowledge feelings (John 11:1-46) – If a student is telling and revealing something about his or her feelings, we as teachers need to listen closely to those feelings being expressed, using our response as a “teachable moment.”
5) Restate or paraphrase (Gal. 1:6-12) – As listeners, we need to make sure that we are correctly receiving the information the teacher is presenting by periodically stating, “Now, let me see if I’m correctly understanding what you’ve stated so far…..” Or the teacher needs to ask, “Does everyone understand what I’ve just stated?” And then wait for either a negative or positive response.
6) Seek first to understand and then to be understood (Acts 8:26-39) – Before we as listeners state our thoughts and ideas, we need to make certain that we totally understand and acknowledge the teacher’s thoughts that are being presented.
7) Give non-verbal feedback – While the teacher is speaking, we as listeners need to smile, nod, frown, shrug our shoulders, raise our eyebrows (or some other kind of physical response – Acts 7:54). This allows the teacher to receive non-verbal feedback in determining if their teaching is being understood by us as listeners.
8) Silence (Job 29:21-24) – The old saying, “Silence is golden” is indeed true with regard to effective listening, for periods of total quietness will allow both student and teacher to “think” about what was said and taught. Only when we are certain that the teacher has completed his or her thoughts on the subject being taught, will it be time for us as listeners to respond and comment.
9) Take into consideration “all” of the information presented by the teacher, both verbal and nonverbal (Acts 20:13-26) – As listeners, we need to focus on the meaning of not only what information was presented, but also what information wasn’t presented (i.e., information that may have been “inferred” in the teaching).
10) Getting permission – Sometimes students just want to be heard as a way to blow off some excess steam. At other times, they are seeking additional information. As teachers, we should give advice only when requested and given permission to do so, and only after the student has had a chance to “think” about what was taught. If we are not sure, we need to ask the student for his or her input and then closely “listen“ to that input before responding.
While the above listening tips are certainly not exhaustive, hopefully they will serve as a starting point and motivation for us to become more effective listeners. And as a result, become more effective in our interaction with others as we present to them the saving gospel of Christ (Matthew 28:19-20; cf. 2 Timothy 2:1-2).