Satan's Beatitudes
Categories: Church of Christ Bulletin Articles Tags: Bible Lessons on SatanIf the devil were to write his Beatitudes, they would probably go something like this (links added by Mike Riley):
- Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians — they are my best workers.
- Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked — I can use them.
- Blessed are the touchy. With a bit of luck, they may stop going to church — they are my missionaries.
- Blessed are the troublemakers — they shall be called my children.
- Blessed are the complainers — I’m all ears to them.
- Blessed are they who are bored with the minister’s mannerisms and mistakes — for they get nothing out of his sermons.
- Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church — for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.
- Blessed are they who gossip — for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
- Blessed are they who are easily offended — for they will soon get angry and quit.
- Blessed are they who do not give their offering to carry on God’s work — for they are my helpers.
- Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister — for he shall be with me forever.
- Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself — I’ve got you. (source).
—Dan McKibben