No Excuse Sunday!
Categories: Church of Christ Bulletin ArticlesThe following parody by an unknown author will hopefully make us “think” with regards to our attending worship services:
In order to make it possible for everyone to attend church services next week, we are planning a special “No Excuse Sunday”.
1) Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say; “Sunday is my only day for sleeping in”.
2) Eye drops will be available for those whose eyes are tired from watching TV too late on Saturday night.
3) We will have steel helmets for those who believe the roof will “cave in” if they show up for church services.
4) Blankets will be furnished for those who complain that the church building is “too cold”. Fans will be on hand for those who say, the church building is “too hot”.
5) There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.
6) We will have hearing aids for the members who say; the preacher doesn’t talk loud enough. There will be cotton for those who say; the preacher talks too loud.
7) Score cards will be available for those who wish to count the hypocrites!
8) We guarantee that some relatives will be present for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.
9) There will be TV dinners available for those who claim they can’t go to church and cook dinner, too.
10) One section of the church will have some trees and grass for those who see God in nature, especially on the golf course!
11) For the fishermen – we will stock the baptistery pool full of fish.
12) Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
13) The auditorium will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never worshiped without them.
14) We will have representatives from the finest clothing stores for our weekly give-away, that’s right, “Free” clothes and accessories, for those of you who have absolutely “nothing to wear”!
See you at church services Sunday!