How Should a Husband Treat His Wife? – Husbands As God Would Have Them
Categories: Sermon Outlines, Topical Sermon OutlinesI. Introduction
A. What Jeremiah said of his day is also true of our’s, “An astonishing and horrible thing has been committed in the land” (Jeremiah 5:30).
1. Let me inform you of some astonishing and horrible news.
a. There are over 1,000,000 divorces per year in America.
b. It has been said that only one out of six marriages today work in the sense of the two enjoying being together.
c. It has been documented that 70% of teenage marriages end in divorce within five years.
d. The eventual divorce rate of teenage marriages is at 85%!
2. These are startling statistics, and it is of most importance to realize that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)!
B. The major reason there are so many divorces in our world today is because husbands and wives do not know or do not fulfill their God-given duties in the marriage relationship.
1. Do you know what your duty to your spouse is, your God-given duty?
2. I believe that when two are married, and both will act like a faithful Christ – that kind of marriage will work and wonderful every single time!
II. DISCUSSION: How Should A Husband Treat His Wife?
A. Husbands need to cleave unto their wives
1. The institution of marriage first began in the garden of Eden.
a. It was at this time that God said … Genesis 2:18
b. As a result, the Almighty took one of Adam’s ribs and made Eve, his wife (Genesis 2:21-23). For this reason, Moses by inspiration declared … Genesis 2:24.
2. What does it mean to “cleave” to a wife?
a. “Cleave” comes from the Hebrew word dawbak and means to adhere to, to follow close after, to stick, and to join together. Jesus quotes Moses (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5) and uses the Greek word kallaw which means to join together, to glue, and to cement together.
b. Thus, we see that a husband and wife are to be an inseparable bond, and so unseverable is this bond to be that it should be said that they become “one flesh.”
3. For a husband to “cleave” to his wife, he must DESIRE and WORK for that bond that cannot be dissolved.
a. Too many today go into their marriages with the attitude that if their marriage doesn’t work out they can always get a divorce.
1) But this is contrary to God’s plan (Matthew 5:32; Romans 7:2).
2) Do not our marriage vows say, “To death do us part”? The marriage institution is to be our closest human relationship and must not be severed!
b. The Bible teaches that every marriage can work and be beautiful – IF each partner in the marriage will hold true to and apply biblical principles to their marriages.
c. It has long been said that marriage is a two way street always under construction. Good marriages do not just happen, they are made through desire and effort.
4. Adam and Eve were literally “one flesh” for Eve was taken from the rib of Adam.
a. In like manner, though not literally, we are to be “one flesh” with our spouse.
b. We can’t become “one flesh” with our spouse simply by getting married, but by “cleaving” to our marriage partner.
c. In other words, if we want our marriage to be great and one that is pleasing unto God, we MUST “cleave,” we MUST strive for that bond which cannot be broken except by death (Romans 7:1-3).
d. This is the first principle that must be incorporated in our marriage, that is, a mind to stay together for life, to “cleave” to one another.
B. Husbands should love their wives (Ephesians 5:25, 28)
1. Ephesians 5:25
a. This is a very well know verse among those professing to be Christians, but one that seems to be all too often neglected.
b. The divorce rate in America is at an all time high.
1) There are over a million divorces each year in America, and one out of every three marriages are breaking down! WHY?!
2) One of the reasons is that husbands are failing to practice Ephesians 5:25!
2. Most marriages start out with the husband and wife loving each other, but this is an affectionate love, a love that comes through physical attraction.
a. This is not the type of love that make marriages strong. This affectionate type of love is not the type of love that is spoken of in Ephesians 5:25.
b. The “love” mentioned in Ephesians 5:25 comes from the Greek word agaph and not filew (the affectionate kind of love).
1) Husbands, if you want your marriages to be great, you must agaph your wives!
2) Matthew 5:43-48 defines agaph beautifully.
3) There Jesus says that human love must be patterned after the characteristics of God’s love, and isn’t that what Paul said in Ephesians 5:25?
3. God sends His rain on the just and on the unjust, and makes His sun to shine on the good and the bad.
a. From this it is clear that AGAPE is benevolence, undefeatable good will. AGAPE is the spirit in the heart which will never seek anything but the highest good of another.
b. It doesn’t matter how another treats you, you always seek their highest good. This is especially true in our marriages!
4. Agaph love is seen in action, and not mere words.
a. 1 John 3:16-18
b. You can tell your wife all day long that you love her, but until you SHOW her that you love her, your words will do little to strengthen your marriage.
c. Even if she treats you wrong, your treat her right – every time!
5. It is easy, then, to see that if we agaph our wives, and wives agaph their husbands, the marriage will work, no “ifs,” “ands” or “buts!”
6. Husbands, ALWAYS seek your wife’s highest good.
C. Husbands are to dwell with their wives according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7)
1. All of the instructions which the Bible gives us concerning how to make our marriages work are vitally important, and should be heeded carefully. But there is one that seems to be very often overlooked. In 1 Peter 3:7, Peter informs husbands that they are to “dwell with their wives according to knowledge.”
2. The word “dwell” is a term translated from the Greek word sunoikeo, and is used to denote domestic association, and this association is to be “according to knowledge.”
a. To dwell with one’s wife “according to knowledge” means that husbands are to KNOW, TO UNDERSTAND, TO COMPREHEND the nature, the duty, the longevity and honorableness of the marriage relationship.
b. It is a very simple principle to realize that “a person cannot do that which he does not know how.”
3. If one does not know the true nature of marriage, he cannot fully appreciate it (Genesis 2:23-24).
a. If one does not know his duties in marriage, he cannot fulfill his obligations (Ephesians 5:25).
b. If one does not understand the longevity of marriage, he may not seek to keep his marriage in tact (Matthew 19:6).
c. If one does not comprehend the honorableness of marriage, he will not treat as such (Hebrews 13:4).
d. We must have knowledge in all these areas! How do we come to a know of these areas? By our diligent study of God’s word (2 Timothy 2:15).
4. Also, involved in the meaning of “dwell with your wives according to knowledge” is to KNOW your wife.
a. Husbands MUST take the time and make the effort to know what their wives’ likes and dislikes, what makes them happy and sad, and what makes them secure and insecure.
b. We must become ONE with our wives! Knowing what makes our wives happy and secure, husbands who truly love their wives, will strive with all their being to provide this for them.
5. It has truthfully been said that the more we know God, the greater love for God we will have, and the greater allegiance and obedience we will yield to Him. The same is true of our wives. The more we know our wives and our duties to them, the more we will love our wives and desire to serve and provide for them.
6. Husbands, dwell with your wives according to knowledge!
D. Husbands need to honor their wives as the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7)
1. The inspired apostle Peter penned some valuable and lasting instructions for husbands to remember when he wrote … 1 Peter 3:7
2. The instruction to “give honor unto the woman” was especially needed in Peter’s day, for in the world outside of Christ, women were viewed with little respect.
a. Women in the first century were viewed as mere possessions, mere slaves.
b. Treating wives with respect was a Christian principle that the first century Christians were commanded to obey. The same holds true for us today!
1) John 14:15
2) James 2:10
3) There is no command of our Lord that should overlooked or neglected.
3. Husbands are to be sympathetic to the desires, and feelings of their wives.
a. Husbands have a higher duty than just providing for their wives’ physical needs, they must respect, admire, recognize, and exalt their wives.
b. No one in their right mind would want to hurt someone they honor.
c. If husbands would honor their wives we would have enormously fewer troubled marriages, as well as divorces in our world today.
4. One reason husbands are to honor their wives is that they are the “weaker vessel”
a. This does not mean that women are inferior to men morally, intellectually, or with regard to their rights.
b. It does mean, though, that they are more tender and delicate; therefore, they should be treated with admiring and compassionate care.
c. Knowing this, we should treat our wives with special kindness and attention, giving them the honor and respect they deserve and need.
5. Remember, a failure to do this will weaken our marriage, not allowing it to be blessed as it ought. It will also cause our prayers to be hindered, that is, not heard by God. That would be a tragedy!
6. Husbands, honor your wives!
III. Conclusion