When we do not listen to people and get to know them as they are, this creates barriers in relationships. Barriers happen when inauthentic and selfish behavior dominates the relationship. This creates a situation where one cannot get to know another because he cannot get past the protective shell of the ego. That shell may be many things, but it prevents authentic relationships.
The only way for someone to reveal their true self to us, though, is to talk to them. God reveals Himself to us by talking to us. Paul wrote, “For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God” (1 Corinthians 2:11-12). We cannot know the mind of another unless that mind is revealed to us through communication.
The single greatest obstacle that we face in our relationships is the image that we construct of other people. Most of the time we interact with that image instead of with the actual person. Why do we do this? It is easier. That image is a product of our own creation. It is what we see of ourselves in someone else. We know it very well. After all, we made it. But this is a selfish move because we are just interacting with an image of our own creation, not the other person.
Love, when properly applied, governs our behavior for, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” One’s interactions would wholly benefit from a generous application. The trick is, of course, to take the list and apply it to every thought, word, and deed. Why do we not do this?
Life is much better when we have other people to interact with. God said, “It is not good that man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). God made humanity a social creature, but interacting with other people can be hard.
Godly mothers will care for and educate their children to ensure their emotional well-being. Mothers must pay attention to their children to help them grow. Luke 2:19 says that Mary, the mother of Jesus, “kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” She focused on Jesus’ and adjusted her care for him appropriately.
Mothers are not perfect; they may give us a set of emotions difficult to manage. This can be changed. It is important that mothers train their hearts to listen to the word of God and follow the example of Jesus Christ. We can overcome negative feelings by listening to and practicing the Bible’s teaching.
Psalm 92:12-14 says “The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree, He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Those who are planted in the house of the Lord Shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; They shall be fresh and flourishing.” While we will never “arrive” spiritually speaking, we will continue to learn and grow as the oak tree, adding new rings of experience each year.
Couples need to consider these possibilities as they get older, make the appropriate plans, and be committed to their relationships. The worse the situation is, however, the greater one’s ability to demonstrate the true love of Christ in one’s life. Sacrificial love does not give up on a spouse.
God wants faithfulness “’til death do us part.” This will require some amount of planning. Additionally, couples must be faithful to each other to continue to set the example for adult children who decide to marry and rear their own children. Our purpose of bringing up godly children does not end when the children leave the home. We set an example of godliness until death.
Children do not get automatic updates downloaded to their systems. God created parents to educate them. Fathers are instrumental in developing children so that they become what God wants them to be. Fathers must teach the truth and provide good spiritual examples to their children because children identify with their fathers—not just boys, but girls too! Their behaviors, speech patterns, habits, goals, level of engagement with people, work ethic, spirituality, and other attributes that are essential to one’s identity are formed through paternal modeling.
Research has demonstrated that fathers who are engaged spiritually are apt to produce spiritually minded children. The mothers of the home may be 100% spiritual, but if their fathers are not, the children are not as apt to be either. Fathers need to have a close, loving, and nurturing relationship with their children. They must engage spiritually in several key areas: faithfulness to teaching, intensity of focus, attendance at weekly services, belief in biblical literalism, religious intensity, and civic engagement of one’s beliefs (Families and Faith, Bengtson, Oxford: 2013, p.76-77). It is for these reasons that the Bible says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Jesus emphasizes that it is the servants who know the Bridegroom, Lord, and King, and are faithfully serving and expecting Him who will ultimately inherit the glorified kingdom of heaven (Matt. 25:1, 14, 34). Are you in the kingdom and ready for the King to come?
The wise man looks anxiously for “a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens” (II Cor. 5:1-ff) knowing this is the place that the Savior has prepared for him and is far better than any dwelling here on this earth (John 14:1-4).
We are commanded to pray (1 Thess. 5:17; Phil. 4:6). If it is something Christians are expected to do, then getting in and doing it is important! A prayer does not have to be long or eloquent to be effective (Neh. 5:19; Matt. 6:7-8; Luke 18:9-14). Maturing in prayer life will find us developing the discipline of prayer so that we turn to God first in our lives when joys or sorrows or anything prevails (Jas. 5:13; 1 Pet. 5:6-7).
When we offer songs of praise and thanks to God, thanksgiving must be a part of our worship. The songs we sing should always tell of His excellent greatness and let Him know specifically how thankful to Him that we are to be His people and to call Him our Father. Such will keep Him near to our hearts and keep us near to His.
Some have the idea that this is how God has left us: groping around in this world without knowledge of what He wants. This is not the case! God has given us His Light to shine in the darkness, to illumine our path, to guide us home, and to lead others to Him (Ps. 119:110; Jn. 1:4-5; 8:12; II Tim. 3:16-17).
In essence: do you want a summary verse that teaches how we should treat our neighbors, our friends, our enemies, our spouses, our children, our acquaintances in every situation imaginable? Practice the Golden Rule and you’ll seldom go wrong.
Tobacco, alcohol, and drug addictions need serious attention. These addictions can create tremendous problems in the family such as crushing debt, poverty, loss of work, and even death. These are dangerous addictive substances that need to be eliminated from use altogether because of the great risk associated with them. When one is addicted to such things, professional counseling is needed. Get the help that is necessary to stop using the substance and resolve to never go back to it again.
Identify problems early. Addicts may not see what is happening to them as addiction creates blindness to one’s state. It is easy for others, however, to see the behavior for what it is. It is important that families have a relationship where members can talk about these issues. Discussing the behavior is the first step to remedying it.