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A Question On “Dwelling” With Our Wives

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Categories: Church of Christ Bulletin Articles

A querist asks, In 1 Peter 3:7 KJV, what does the phrase “dwell with them [wives] according to knowledge” mean?

The text in 1 Peter 3:7 KJV reads:

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them [wives] according to knowledge (“with understanding“ – 1 Peter 3:7 NKJV) giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and a being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

The inspired writer, Peter tells us that we are to “dwell” with our wives “according to knowledge“ (1 Peter 3:7 KJV). But what kind of “knowledge” is Peter referring to?

1) The term “knowledge” in 1 Peter 3:7 KJV (Grk. gnosis – Strong‘s 1108), is referring to “a seeking to know, an inquiry, investigation” into spiritual truth (John 17:17).

It gives the Christian wife great security, in knowing that her husband is trying to guide the house by the spiritual truths found in God’s Word (Genesis 18:17-19; cf. Deuteronomy 4:9-10; Deuteronomy 6:4-7; Joshua 24:15; Ephesians 6:4).

It is also crucial for a man to “understand” (1 Peter 3:7) his wife’s strengths, weaknesses, and capabilities in light of that spiritual truth (see Proverbs 31:11-27).

2) In 1 Peter 3:7 KJV, we are also told to give “honor” (Grk. time – Strong’s 5092) to our wives. We are to value our wives as we value Christ (“a precious stone” – 1 Peter 2:6-7).

Let’s ask ourselves, “Do we not give our time, attention, and effort to that which we truly value?” (Matthew 6:21; cf. Matthew 13:44-46). Then we need to let our wives know of their great value and the godly influence they have in our life (1 Peter 3:1-2), i.e., “giving honor [value] unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7 KJV).

This means that she is not designed to handle certain pressures which would cause her to have a mental or emotional breakdown. As husbands, we need to be aware of this, and make sure we are handling those pressures, so she doesn‘t have to.

Men, we are to make it a top priority to spend time with our wives. When a husband and wife are joined together by the Lord (Matthew 19:6), they are no longer two independent people, but become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31; cf. 1 Corinthians 6:16). If a husband and wife are spending too much time away from each other, it won’t be long before the relationship begins to unravel.

3) In 1 Peter 3:7 KJV, we are given two reasons for following the above principles and guidelines:

  • Because we are “heirs together of the grace of life” — A married couple either “enjoys” life together or “endures life” together (there‘s a big difference in the two). If a couple are not “enjoying” life together, but are only “enduring” life, then both husband and wife need to seriously examine their biblical role and responsibilities in the light of Scripture. Our Lord came to provide us the “abundant” life (John 10:10 – see commentary).
  • So that “our prayers may not be hindered“ — A breakdown in the relationship with our wives because of bitterness and strife (Gal. 5:13-16), will also result in the breakdown of our relationship with God, and thus our prayers will be hindered.

It’s been said that “the countenance of a man’s wife is the barometer of his success as a husband.“ The wife is a reflection to the world as to whether or not her husband is a success or a failure as a marriage partner (Proverbs 12:4; 1 Corinthians 11:7; cf. Proverbs 31:23). If the wife is unhappy outside of the home, she will more than likely be unhappy inside of the home as well.

If she is a joyous and loving woman, it will largely be due to the way her husband cares for her spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. A husband’s consistent concern for his wife’s needs, result in helping produce a woman whose “price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).

We are to love our wives whether it is convenient or inconvenient, i.e., “in sickness and in health.“ We are to selflessly love our wives as Christ loved us and His church (Romans 5:6-8; 1 Peter 2:21-25; cf. Ephesians 5:25-33).

True biblical love (Romans 15:1-3; cf. 1 Corinthians 10:24,33; Philippians 2:1-4) costs us something (it cost the Lord His life (Acts 20:28; Hebrews 9:14).

May God grant us more godly husbands that will truly “honor” their wives, “dwelling“ with them “with understanding“ (1 Peter 3:7).

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  • Effective Communication And A Merry Heart
  • Finding “A Good Thing”
  • How To Love Our Wives In A More “Princely Way”
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