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Why should I be punished for divorce when it’s not my fault?

I do not understand all the teachings on divorce and remarriage. I would like to understand how it all works. I’ve had two husbands who were terrible men. I realize I am the one that twice filed for divorce. Am I to be punished for thinking of what is best for my child?

Thanks for writing.

I am really touched by your story. You have suffered quite a bit in life. Your story is like so many others out there today and it is sad that many people are going through these things.

I certainly offer no excuses for your husband’s behavior. Their behavior was reproachable and inexcusable. It is sad that men behave in such a way, however, that is the way men behave when they do not govern their lives upon the principles of the gospel (Ephesians 5:23-33). They certainly will be judged for their behavior unless they repent and make things right with you and your child.

As to your situation, for you to remarry yet again would be sinful (Matthew 19:1-12). The best thing for you to do is to remain unmarried at this point. Don’t consider that as some sort of punishment. Consider it as the way that God can bless you the most in your situation. God’s way is always the right way and most blessed. Trust in God’s way (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Additionally, you need to find a church that is practicing what the Bible teaches and be a part of that church. You say that you are a Baptist. Well, I challenge you to be simply a Christian. You can become a Christian by following the instructions that Jesus gives in Mark 16:16 and that Peter gives in Acts 2:38. When you become a Christian, the Lord adds you to His church (Acts 2:47) and you become part of the body of Christ. If you do this, and remain faithful to the Lord in all things, then you will find all of the help that you need to continue living a life of happiness and joy. Your child will find all of the “fathers” that he will ever want, in the Lord, and you will find a wonderful loving family of brothers and sisters who will love you and take care of what you need.

So the choice is yours. You can continue in the destructive cycle of behavior that you have chosen time and again, or you can give yourself over to Christ in all of your life, living according to his standards for what is right and wrong.

I pray that you will make the right choice.