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I don't love my husband, but he is faithful. What can I do?

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Categories: Bible Questions and Answers Tags:

I am a member of the church and have a question about divorce. I committed fornication and became pregnant. I married the father thinking that was the “right” thing to do but now realize that two wrongs don’t make a right. I am not in love with my husband but was in a “pregancy high” so I thought I loved him. If not divorce, is there anything that I can do?

I’m indeed sorry to hear of your situation. Let me confirm for you that the only reason for divorce is sexual infidelity on the part of your husband (fornication) according to Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9. There would be many, I am sure, who might counsel you to simply do whatever you wanted to do, but that would be a mistake. Your eternal salvation is much more important than seeking a few years of pleasure while upon the earth (Hebrews 11:25) and whether you can learn to have a happy marriage or not will never affect that truth.

However, I want to tell you that there is hope for your marriage. I know that you say you don’t love your husband now, but I believe that you can grow to love him in a way that you never dreamed possible. The Bible says that the older women are to teach the younger women “to love their husbands” (Titus 2:4). This means that you can learn to love your husband. My advise to you would be to seek out an older woman whom you trust and talk to her about your situation. You can have a better marriage, however, in order to have a better marriage, you need to want to have a better marriage.

Your husband has to be part of this as well. Does he know how you feel about the situation? Have you talked to him about this? What are his desires for your marriage? These are some questions that you need to ask yourself and him too. This may be hard to do, but it will be worth doing in the long run.

One last thing: I want to remind you that you made these choices for your life. You can either abandon these choices, or you can make the best of your choices. The more energy you put into abandoning these choices, the worse your situation is going to get. The more energy you put into making the best of these choices, the better your situation is going to get. This is not going to happen overnight. You will need to keep with it for years to come. There will be ups and downs in all of it, but it will get better if you work at it. Marriage is not easy for anyone, but it can be great for everyone, if you want and seek to make it great.

Thanks for writing, and I am praying for you.

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